Signs You Are Dating a NARCISSIST

Recognizing the Narcissist

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a disorder found in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Health Disorders (DSM). It is characterized by having an overinflated sense of self-importance, a need for admiration from others, a weak sense of self-worth, and difficulty empathizing with others. It can be challenging, though not impossible, to maintain relationships with someone with NPD. Whether it is a coworker, family member, friend, or romantic partner, it can be helpful to recognize the signs and traits of NPD in order to navigate the relationship. Below are some other common signs to look for:

Nine Traits of Narcissism

1. Possess an inflated view of their own importance and crave constant, excessive admiration. 

2. Believe they are entitled to special treatment and privileges. Demand special treatment and expect others to follow their wishes without question.  

3. Expect to be seen as exceptional, even without concrete achievements. Over exaggerate their abilities and successes 

4. Become absorbed in fantasies of wealth, power, intelligence, physical appearance, or having the perfect partner. 

5. They consider themselves to be better than others, only associating with those they deem equally special. Look down on and criticize people they perceive as less significant. 

6. Manipulate others to fulfill their own desires. Show little to no concern for the needs or emotions of others. 

7. Feel jealous of others and believe others are envious of them. 

8. Act arrogantly, frequently bragging, and often appearing self-absorbed. 

9. Insist on having only the best, whether it’s a fancy car, a prestigious career, or a glamorous lifestyle.

Traits vs Disorder: 6 Differences

It is important to remember that just because someone possesses narcissistic traits, it does not necessarily mean they have Narcissistic Personality Disorder. The differences are associated with the frequency, consistency, intensity, and negative impact of these traits and behaviors. More specifically, it is key to note how much the behaviors negatively impact the individual’s relationships, as this is one of the areas most impacted by the disorder. Below is a more in-depth explanation of how to differentiate between the two. 

1 Intensity and Pervasiveness:

Many people may display narcissistic traits occasionally, such as a need for admiration or a sense of entitlement, but these traits are not dominant or persistent in their personality. Narcissistic traits in NPD are pervasive, affecting most aspects of a person’s life. The individual consistently exhibits behaviors related to grandiosity, a lack of empathy, and an overwhelming need for admiration, often to the point that it interferes with their relationships and daily functioning.

2. Self-awareness:

People with narcissistic traits may recognize their behavior is excessive or problematic and may be open to changing their actions. Their traits are not always destructive or enduring. Whereas individuals with NPD typically lack self-awareness and may not see their behaviors as problematic. They often fail to recognize how their actions affect others and may resist or refuse to acknowledge their need for change. They are less likely to seek therapy or attempt to change their behaviors. 

3. Impact on Relationships:

People who have narcissistic traits may experience some difficulty in relationships, but they can usually maintain functional connections with others, even if imperfect. NPD often leads to significant relationship problems, as individuals with the disorder may consistently manipulate, exploit, or belittle others, making it hard for them to maintain meaningful connections.

4. Emotional Regulation:

Those with narcissistic traits may experience occasional mood swings or frustration when their needs for admiration or validation aren't met, but they generally have more stable emotional regulation. In NPD, emotional instability is common. Individuals may experience intense feelings of shame, anger, or envy when their self-esteem is threatened, and they often react with explosive or defensive behavior.

5. Self-Esteem:

Narcissistic traits may cause an inflated sense of self-worth, but the individual may still maintain some degree of humility. However, people with NPD have an excessive, often unrealistic sense of superiority, with fragile self-esteem that is highly dependent on external validation. Their self-esteem is often easily threatened and may lead to extreme reactions.

6. Functional Impact:

Narcissistic traits do not typically interfere significantly with a person’s work, social life, or day-to-day functioning. The traits of NPD cause significant distress or impairment in functioning, often affecting career, social life, and personal well-being. People with NPD may struggle to maintain jobs or friendships due to their behavior.

Educating Yourself

In summary, while narcissistic traits can be present in anyone to some degree, NPD is a more severe, enduring condition that significantly impairs a person's relationships and daily life. Educating yourself about this disorder is an important first step in recognizing traits and managing relationships with narcissistic individuals. 

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