We've all had those days when the mere thought of getting out of bed feels like an insurmountable challenge. Whether it's due to stress, fatigue, or just a general lack of motivation, we've all been there. The good news is that there are simple and effective ways to shake off that morning slump and start your day on a positive note. In this blog, we'll explore 10 tips to help you feel better and kickstart your day with renewed energy.

Tips for Getting Out Of Bed

1) Morning Visualization and Affirmations

Before getting out of bed, take a moment to visualize a positive and successful day ahead. You can also practice affirmations by repeating positive statements about yourself and your goals. This mental preparation can set a constructive tone for the day and boost your confidence.

2) Leverage Your Breath

While many of you know about using your breath to lower your heart rate by using long, slow exhales, the opposite is true. Try taking several long, full inhales to help energize your body before swinging your feet to the floor. You will find it helps increase your energy!

3) Incorporate Gentle Stretching Or Yoga

Engage your body and mind with gentle stretching or a short yoga routine. These activities can help increase blood flow, improve flexibility, and release tension. You don't need a lengthy workout; just a few minutes of stretching or yoga poses can invigorate your body and make it easier to transition from bed to a more active state.

4) Light Exposure

Exposure to natural light plays a crucial role in regulating our circadian rhythm and promoting wakefulness. Open your curtains or blinds to let in natural light as soon as you wake up. If possible, take a short walk outside to soak in the sunlight. Natural light exposure helps reset your internal clock, signaling to your body that it's time to be awake and alert.

5) Create a Comfortable Sleep Environment

The quality of your sleep environment can significantly impact your ability to get out of bed feeling refreshed. Invest in a comfortable mattress and pillows, and make your bedroom a serene and relaxing space. Keep the room cool, dark, and quiet to create an optimal sleeping environment. This can make waking up in the morning a more pleasant experience.

6) Start With Baby Steps

Start with small goals. That may be to simply stand up, step one foot outside, or grab a class of water before laying down again. Accomplishing goals increases your dopamine, making it easier to accomplish larger goals over time.

7) Create a Morning Playlist

Create a morning playlist filled with your favorite uplifting tunes or listen to motivational podcasts. Music has the power to influence our mood and energy levels, making it an excellent tool to kickstart your day. Whether you prefer calming melodies or upbeat rhythms, find what resonates with you and use it to create a positive morning routine.

8) Plan Something To Look Forward To

Having a purpose or something to look forward to can make getting out of bed more appealing. It could be as simple as planning a delicious breakfast, treating yourself to a coffee, or having a small personal project to work on. Setting positive intentions for the day can provide motivation and make the act of getting out of bed feel more rewarding.

9) Hydrate Your Body

Dehydration can contribute to feelings of sluggishness and fatigue. Start your day by drinking a glass of water to rehydrate your body after a night's sleep. Staying hydrated throughout the day can improve your overall well-being and help you feel more alert. Consider keeping a water bottle by your bedside to make it a habit to drink water as soon as you wake up.

10) Seek Support

If feelings of fatigue or lack of motivation persist, consider seeking support from friends, family, or a mental health professional. Sometimes, these feelings can be indicative of underlying issues such as stress, anxiety, or depression. Talking to someone you trust or seeking professional help can provide valuable insights and guidance on improving your mental well-being.

While creativity is so much more than traditional art forms, the use of artistic methods is a quintessential form of self-expression.

There are endless artistic mediums to explore which may include sketching with charcoal, getting messy with watercolor, relaxing by coloring pre-designed pages, creating real life with acrylics, dirtying your hands in sculpting, and embracing technology for graphic design.

The beauty and freedom of artistic expression is that it is entirely subjective and authentic.

This freedom allows for the space for you to express yourself without limits or self-judgment.

It’s not that you can’t judge your art, but there are no clear rules for judgment. The creation you make may mean one thing to you and something completely different to someone else.

If you can let go of the fear of perfection, there is immense potential for self-acceptance through the process of creation.

“The ability to let go of judgment through artistic expression may also serve as a practice tool to reflect back in your personal life or inner dialogue.”

Collaging & Vision Boarding: Growth through Reconstruction

You may read the word “collage” and immediately be taken back to elementary school with an assignment where you sorted through a big box of old magazines that had been used for years for some sort of history assignment.

Perhaps you think of vision boards and think “that’s a cute idea,” but I have no idea how one goes about making one or if it’s anything more than just a cute idea.

There is a unique power, however, that can come through the process of collaging.

Collaging is made by sticking a variety of materials, photographs, or cuttings together to a paper or backing to make one integrated creation.

Some of the benefits of collaging are that it offers the mindfulness of actually engaging in a craft (cutting, gluing, etc), which keeps your hands and mind busy and can be a wonderful distraction or hobby to divert your attention from anxiety or troubles.

It also finishes with an end “product” which can help offer feelings of productivity and a healthy sense of control or empowerment.

This experience of feeling like you have made something can be particularly useful in a time when life feels really out of control or if you're experiencing a sense of helplessness in your life at a given moment.

Creative writing has some exceptionally therapeutic opportunities. Writing provides an immediate release for our overwhelming and assuming thoughts and emotions. Releasing and identifying the words of your distress, joy, sadness, anger, pain, or insights allows you to be mindful of what your internal world is telling you instead of allowing it to overcome you. It also provides you an outlet so that the intensity of your internal world doesn’t have to be repressed or “bottled up.” Writing outlets include journaling, poetry, short story or screenplay writing, and more.

Journaling: The act of journaling offers many benefits including having a regular outlet for overwhelming thoughts, emotions, or anxieties as well as a self-reflective element. Especially if you know your journal is kept private it offers a perfect and safe space for you to write or express anything that you’ve been keeping in or have felt too afraid or ashamed to say out loud. It’s very common to only resort to journaling when you’re feeling overwhelmed as a form of release but it has more potential to be beneficial if it’s integrated as more of a routine practice. Writing about your day as a form of tracking events is helpful but being intentional about expressing or exploring your emotions that came up that day or writing about your past can be most beneficial. It’s also a wonderful tool to write out your raw thoughts that you would like to express to someone but you know it may be a little harsh or not as well received because anger is overwhelming. In that case, journaling about it first can help clear out some of the excess anger and organize your thoughts and feelings so that you can better express your frustrations, anger, needs, or boundaries more clearly.

Journaling prompt for feeling overwhelmed:

What’s happened/ happening? (i.e., sequential events and your response- what are you

afraid of, hurt \ by, angry about etc)

What thoughts are rushing in? (what are you believing about yourself, the world, or other

Parties? (I can’t trust this person anymore, I feel like I can’t do anything right)

What emotion do you feel? (I’m overwhelmed with anger and disgust, how could

someone do this? I feel so defeated and heartbroken, I can’t imagine my life without this person) (look at feelings wheel

What are you doing now in response: I’m going to eat dinner and snuggle with my dog

What can you hope for the future: (I will find someone else, I will find happiness again)

What’s two positive things you believe about yourself?

Journaling prompts for your routine journaling:

What are you grateful for in your life?

What are your curiosities about how your life could have turned out differently?

What are the moments in your life or attributes about yourself that you’re most proud of?

What emotions do you have the most difficulty connecting with and why? (look at

feelings wheel)

Explore more about visual journaling through collage in this blog (Growth through reconstruction)

Poetry: Poetry is the flowing river of creative writing. The rhythmic quality and hidden meanings and metaphors creates fluid and wide open space for mental and emotional expression with limited restraints. Therefore, practicing poetry is a great outlet for exploring topics, emotions, or experiences that feel overwhelming or difficult to get in touch with on your own.

One example: A Haiku for emotions:

My ___ (emotion) is _____ (one syllable word for color or sound)

Like _____ (name of city, a place, or a household item), ____and____ (2 descriptive adjectives) loud and flashing

It helps me ______ (two words)

Ex:

My anger is red

Like Hong Kong, loud and flashing

It helps me know me

My grief is quiet

Like coffee, still and daily

It helps me hold on

My love is pure pink

Like my porch swing, light and free

It helps me know you

Short Stories: Writing short stories offer a wonderful sense of distance to explore themes, situations, emotions, or hardships in your own life. It offers endless creative opportunities as you create settings and characters. As well as, potential for personal growth by exploring themes and coming up with your own resolutions or endings.

How to get started with a short story:

Who are your characters? What are their strengths and weaknesses? What do they look like? (Choose some characteristics to represent different parts of you: ex: someone sarcastic, someone depressed, someone joyful, someone always confused)

Where is the setting of your story? What is the culture, atmosphere, and sensual qualities?

What are the themes of the story? (ex. Grief, shame, isolation, misunderstandings, etc.)

What is the climax and resolution of your story?

Get to writing! You may surprise yourself with what you come up with!

The power of creativity arrives from crossing the act of mindfulness with the act of letting go. The mindful and intentional approach of pouring yourself into a creative endeavor helps you connect to a positive activity outside of yourself and your anxious thoughts. This process allows you to detach without being avoidant and suppressing your feelings. The act of letting go helps to free yourself and your negative thought patterns from the regular pressures of societal or external forces and an acute relationship with control. Creativity is the art of making something from nothing and utilizing self-expression in the process. Creativity and art are overarchingly subjective therefore there is minimal control of how others will perceive your creation. Giving in to this subjectivity is practice for releasing the pressures to control others’ perspectives of ourselves.

Creativity is an incredible medium for supporting mental health. Creative action can help you to tap into the right side of your brain and helps to merge your logical and emotional mind. So often states of anxiety, depression and low self-esteem are generated by “overthinking,” “over rationalizing,” and negative thought cycles that are fueled in the logical and left side of our brain. Engaging in right brain activities offers reprieve from these cycles so we can create new positive thought cycles/ neuropathways.

Engaging with your “creative self” allows you to improve your thinking patterns by interacting with more curiosity and open-mindedness. This form of thinking is a refreshing change especially for those of us with exceptionally rigid thinking. Being creative also allows for emotional expression by offering a platform of interaction that gives us the space to engage with our emotions so that we are not overcome by them or suppressing them. If you're overwhelmed by a crushing wave of depression or overwhelming anxiety and panic, engaging in creative action helps to regain some sense of control and autonomy. Likewise, engaging with your creative self also allows you to feel a sense of satisfaction or mastery as you work on your craft. Whether you have finished it or not, you have a tangible sense of witnessing some sort of accomplishment. This can be particularly beneficial if you’re in a phase of experiencing helplessness or a lack of agency in your own life. One of the most powerful elements of engaging with your creative self is if you can eliminate the pressure of perfection or people pleasing you can engage with creativity in good humor. Embracing the subjectivity of your creation and laughing through the process helps to detach from the seriousness of having to perform for others.

There are endless ways to explore creative outlets and coping strategies that may go against your traditional conceptions of creativity. Coping by creating something can present in numerous ways. It can look like baking, cooking, drawing, pottery, woodworking, building with legos, graphic design, knitting, cross stitching, playing music, singing, dancing, interior design, and so much more. Exploring creative outlets to find out what connects most with you can help to connect with more of your own authenticity and also help you to connect with others by building community with people with similar interests!

How to choose a creative outlet:

Decide what areas you are interested in (building, cooking, art, crafting, etc)

Explore what modalities are most accessible (do you have the materials or are they affordable?)

Choose an outlet that feels comfortable and easy to connect with (ex: I love to cook!)

Set up time to explore this outlet

Choose an outlet or medium that feels adventurous or would push you (ex: I’ve always wanted to try poetry)

Set up time to explore this outlet 1-2 times a week

If either outlet doesn’t feel authentic or is too difficult to accomplish, try another!

A few simple practices may make all the difference in changing your sleep habits. Try these tips ranging from shifting your mindset, to creating a playlist.

We've all had those days when the mere thought of getting out of bed feels like an insurmountable challenge. Whether it's due to stress, fatigue, or just a general lack of motivation, we've all been there. The good news is that there are simple and effective ways to shake off that morning slump and start your day on a positive note. In this blog, we'll explore 10 tips to help you feel better and kickstart your day with renewed energy.

Tips for Getting Out Of Bed

1) Morning Visualization and Affirmations

Before getting out of bed, take a moment to visualize a positive and successful day ahead. You can also practice affirmations by repeating positive statements about yourself and your goals. This mental preparation can set a constructive tone for the day and boost your confidence.

2) Leverage Your Breath

While many of you know about using your breath to lower your heart rate by using long, slow exhales, the opposite is true. Try taking several long, full inhales to help energize your body before swinging your feet to the floor. You will find it helps increase your energy!

3) Incorporate Gentle Stretching Or Yoga

Engage your body and mind with gentle stretching or a short yoga routine. These activities can help increase blood flow, improve flexibility, and release tension. You don't need a lengthy workout; just a few minutes of stretching or yoga poses can invigorate your body and make it easier to transition from bed to a more active state.

4) Light Exposure

Exposure to natural light plays a crucial role in regulating our circadian rhythm and promoting wakefulness. Open your curtains or blinds to let in natural light as soon as you wake up. If possible, take a short walk outside to soak in the sunlight. Natural light exposure helps reset your internal clock, signaling to your body that it's time to be awake and alert.

5) Create a Comfortable Sleep Environment

The quality of your sleep environment can significantly impact your ability to get out of bed feeling refreshed. Invest in a comfortable mattress and pillows, and make your bedroom a serene and relaxing space. Keep the room cool, dark, and quiet to create an optimal sleeping environment. This can make waking up in the morning a more pleasant experience.

6) Start With Baby Steps

Start with small goals. That may be to simply stand up, step one foot outside, or grab a class of water before laying down again. Accomplishing goals increases your dopamine, making it easier to accomplish larger goals over time.

7) Create a Morning Playlist

Create a morning playlist filled with your favorite uplifting tunes or listen to motivational podcasts. Music has the power to influence our mood and energy levels, making it an excellent tool to kickstart your day. Whether you prefer calming melodies or upbeat rhythms, find what resonates with you and use it to create a positive morning routine.

8) Plan Something To Look Forward To

Having a purpose or something to look forward to can make getting out of bed more appealing. It could be as simple as planning a delicious breakfast, treating yourself to a coffee, or having a small personal project to work on. Setting positive intentions for the day can provide motivation and make the act of getting out of bed feel more rewarding.

9) Hydrate Your Body

Dehydration can contribute to feelings of sluggishness and fatigue. Start your day by drinking a glass of water to rehydrate your body after a night's sleep. Staying hydrated throughout the day can improve your overall well-being and help you feel more alert. Consider keeping a water bottle by your bedside to make it a habit to drink water as soon as you wake up.

10) Seek Support

If feelings of fatigue or lack of motivation persist, consider seeking support from friends, family, or a mental health professional. Sometimes, these feelings can be indicative of underlying issues such as stress, anxiety, or depression. Talking to someone you trust or seeking professional help can provide valuable insights and guidance on improving your mental well-being.

Navigating through tough times, and trauma specifically, can be overwhelming, but you're not alone on this journey.

Trauma-informed therapy is a great way to not only heal from your past, but create a bright future through unlocking your body and brains innate wisdom and potential. Let's dive into some ways trauma-informed therapy can offer support and healing!

12 Trauma Informed Therapy Techniques for Women

1) Psychoeducation: Understanding the Impact of Trauma

Ever wonder why you react the way you do? Psychoeducation is like your guidebook to understanding how trauma impacts your brain, memory, and overall well-being. It's all about making sense of your reactions and giving yourself some well-deserved self-compassion.

2) Grounding Techniques: Anchoring in the Present Moment

Feeling overwhelmed? Grounding techniques are like your secret superhero moves for staying present during tough times. Whether it's deep breathing, mindfulness, or some sensory magic, these tools create a safe space and help you regain control.

3) EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing): Transforming Traumatic Memories

EMDR might sound like a tech acronym, but it's a game-changer. Imagine transforming those distressing memories through a structured process with eye movements. It's like hitting the reset button on the emotional charge tied to traumatic experiences.

4) Person-Centered (Rogerian) Therapy: Compassionate Therapeutic Relationship

Person-Centered Therapy is here to give you back your voice and agency. Developed by Carl Rogers, this approach is all about empathy, unconditional positive regard, and creating a safe space for you to explore at your own pace, building trust in your own intuition and innate wisdom.

5) Exploring Family History: Unraveling Generational Patterns

Your family history holds clues to patterns in your behavior. By exploring it, you get to the roots of certain behaviors, core beliefs, thought patterns, habits, and coping mechanisms. It's like opening up a treasure chest of understanding.

6) Schema Therapy: Addressing Core Beliefs

We all have deep-seated beliefs from childhood. Schema therapy helps identify and challenge those beliefs, paving the way for healing and personal growth.

7) Narrative Therapy & Verbal Processing

Ever thought about rewriting your life story? Narrative therapy does just that – emphasizing resilience and growth over victimhood. And verbal processing? It's your space to speak your truth and integrate your narrative.

8) Inner Child Work & Internal Family Systems: Nurturing the Inner Self

Meet your inner child! Our inner child often carries our heaviest burdens and deepest wounds. Inner Child Work and Internal Family Systems dive into the different aspects within you, shaped by past experiences. It's like giving a warm hug to that wounded inner child, fostering self-compassion and deep healing.

9) Art Therapy: Expressive Healing Through Creativity

Talking isn't the only way to express yourself. Art therapy taps into the wisdom of your right brain, using various mediums to explore and process emotions. It's like giving your right brain the spotlight for a change, in a culture that seems to only value the left brain!

10) Polyvagal Theory: Understanding the Nervous System

Your nervous system plays a huge role in how you experience the world. Polyvagal Theory dives into this, offering insights into how your body responds to stress and trauma. It's like understanding your body's unique language.

11) Healthy Habits & Self-Care Planning (i.e., Coping Skills)

We all need a toolbox of coping skills. Learning healthy habits, problem-solving, and emotional regulation equips you with practical tools to navigate stressors effectively. And let's not forget the importance of creating a self-care plan for ongoing well-being. Yoga and other types of exercise help you reconnect, releasing stored tension associated with trauma. It's like a reset button for your mind-body connection.

12) Communication & Boundaries: Building Healthy Connections

Trauma can make it really difficult to trust others or feel safe in relationships. Learning effective communication and setting boundaries is like having the keys to building and maintaining healthy connections, creating a safe space for yourself. 

Remember, these techniques are tools in your toolbox – you get to choose what feels right for you. It's a journey, and we're here to support you every step of the way. By combining various techniques, we can tailor our approach to meet the unique needs of each client, fostering empowerment, resilience, and personal growth on your healing journey.

Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is one of the most widely recognized forms of psychotherapy. Google almost any mental health concern, and you will see CBT mentioned over and over again. But any good trauma therapist will know, CBT isn’t all its cracked up to be and may not be the best choice for you. While CBT can be helpful, its popularity is due more to its simplistic formula best suited for insurance companies requirements than its appropriateness or effectiveness.

Here are 10 concerns we have with CBT:

1. Limited focus on underlying causes: 

CBT primarily targets surface-level thoughts and behaviors. CBT may not be the best choice if the underlying causes of a person's issues are rooted in their past or subconscious mind. For those wanting to heal unresolved trauma or childhood wounds, there may be more suitable therapy modalities. 

2. Rigid format: 

The formulaic structure of CBT can feel impersonal, rigid, and isolating for those who prefer a more relational, exploratory, or open-ended approach. CBT exercises and interventions can feel prescriptive and artificial. 

3. Exacerbates Self-Critical Thoughts: 

CBT focuses on labeling thoughts and “adaptive” or “maladaptive”, which can exacerbate self-critical and shaming thoughts and feelings. For those who experience self-criticism, therapy approaches like Internal Family Systems or Person-Centered therapy will be more healing. 

4. Not A Well Rounded Trauma Treatment: 

Because trauma often does not get stored in the brain as a normal conscious and biographical memory, focusing on cognition and behavior may exacerbate a client’s symptoms. The effects of trauma are often experienced subcortically (in the subconscious), in the body (somatically), emotionally (right hemisphere), or as a dysregulated nervous system. CBT has a limited focus on these areas.

5. Not all issues are Cognitive: 

When someone is anxious or overwhelmed, the “logical” part of the brain shutdown. CBT emphasizes the left hemisphere of the brain (ie the verbal side), and can ignores both the body and the right hemisphere of the brain (ie experiential/emotional/nonverbal).

6. Short-term focus: 

CBT is generally considered a short-term therapy, which may not be ideal for individuals who desire an ongoing or open ended counseling style where they can talk about whatever feels most pressing that week. 

7. Overemphasis on self-help: 

Some individuals may feel overwhelmed or pressured by the emphasis on self-help techniques in CBT. They might prefer a therapy that relies more on the therapist's guidance and support or emphasizes organic exploration and verbal processing.

8. Limited scope for exploring emotions: 

CBT tends to prioritize thoughts and behaviors over emotions. For people who need to work through deep-seated emotional issues or trauma, other therapeutic modalities like psychodynamic or experiential therapies may be more appropriate. Similarly, for those who tend to intellectualize their issues, CBT may exacerbate emotional avoidance. 

9. Lack of holistic approach: 

CBT often focuses on specific problems or symptoms, and it may not take into account the broader context of a person's life, including their relationships, social environment, and overall well-being.

10. Incompatibility with specific goals: 

If an individual's therapeutic goals are more oriented toward personal growth, self-exploration, or understanding the meaning of life, CBT may not align with these objectives.

It's important to remember that therapy is not one-size-fits-all, and the choice of the most suitable therapeutic approach should be based on an individual's unique needs and preferences. Ethredge Counseling Group is committed to high quality holistic therapy modalities that will explore the underlying cause, not putting a bandaid over the surface issue.

If you live in South Carolina or Tennessee and are interested in mental health counseling, you can schedule a 20min free consultation with a licensed professional counselor by following the link below!

Navigating the multitude of therapy options when you are looking for a new therapist can feel overwhelming. One of the many factors to contemplate is whether to use private-pay or cash-pay service, or to use insurance-based coverage.

In this blog post, we invite you to explore the unique benefits of private pay psychotherapy, tailored specifically to your needs and preferences. Additionally, we'll provide valuable insights into the potential drawbacks of relying solely on insurance for mental health support.

12 Benefits to Private-Pay Counseling Vs Using Insurance

1) Confidentiality & Privacy

   One of the biggest advantages of private-pay or cash-pay therapy is the enhanced confidentiality it offers. When you pay out-of-pocket for therapy, your sessions remain entirely private between you and your therapist. Insurance claims, on the other hand, require the submission of a diagnosis, which becomes a part of your permanent health record. When using insurance, sensitive information is shared with the insurance company to process claims, raising concerns about the privacy and security of personal health information, as well as potential repercussions related to the disclosure of mental health diagnoses.This added layer of privacy in private-pay therapy can encourage open communication and trust between you and your therapist.

TW: Self-harm, Suicide, Depression

If you need immediate help, call the national suicide hotline at 988 now

I don’t think you’re selfish, I think you’re hurting.

The dark cloud may have taken over everything. This feels like more than what you know about anxiety or depression.

You can’t think straight or even picture a life past tomorrow.

It feels like there is no way out or any way that things could possibly get better. You’ve reached the point where it doesn’t feel like there’s a place or hope for your life on this earth.

You’ve been plagued with constant thoughts of suicide, death, or dying.

Even if you don’t actually want to hurt yourself, you can’t help but think that it would just be easier if you could fall asleep and never wake up.

You may have experienced recent losses, be riddled with shame about the past, or fear about the future.

You try to come up with ways to get rid of the dark cloud throughout the day. But it's still there at work, or when you binge netflix, or after you scroll tiktok, and definitely after you wake up from a night of drinking.

It’s terrifying and exhausting and it feels way too scary to talk about with anybody. Or, you may have tried to tell someone, but the person you wanted to trust didn’t respond in the way you wanted. Now, you feel betrayed and disappointed, on top of everything else.

Suicidal thoughts come when we feel like there is no other way out to escape the pain or situation that we are in. Suicidal thoughts seem like the answer or escape rout to set you free, and it’s helpful to remember that the most intense moments of feeling suicidal are usually in response to crises or depressive episodes.

This means the waves of urgency can pass and there is hope and warmth on the other side of that sheet of pure darkness.

Through therapy, we can work on reducing feelings of shame and guilt, move through grief and loss, explore purpose and lifestyle choices that are congruent with your true self. We can take things day by day, or week by week until you are back on your feet, able to see a future, and can live and thrive.

You may or may not need more urgent or inpatient care to get you to safety and stability, but individual therapy is there for you upon your return. 

For those who are getting close to it

Your fight against the darkness has become too much, but something has prevented you from giving up your life. You deserve to stay safe until this moment passes. You’re worthy of receiving help that will support you as you heal.

For those who have attempted 

I am so glad you are still here. Everything became too much and you couldn’t take it anymore, but you are here and that means there’s still hope. Whether you feel gratitude, shame, regret, or more fear after your attempt, you don’t have to feel that alone. And we can work together to keep you moving forward.

For those who feel like you never could or would 

I’m sorry you have to suffer through the thoughts nonetheless. Suicidal thoughts or thoughts wishing you could go to heaven or fall asleep and never wake up are telling you that something feels wrong. We can find out how to make things right to feel like your life is worth living. 

For those who I didn’t describe, but still struggle with thoughts of suicide 

You are worthy. You deserve to feel seen and understood. You deserve to be supported. 

If your safety or livelihood is immediately at risk because of your suicidal thoughts, and you need help to keep yourself safe please call 988, the suicide hotline, or mobile crisis if you are in Charleston at (843)414-2350. These resources can help you explore your options to keep yourself safe and wait for this moment or episode to pass. 

“Upon your position of safety, I would be honored to work with you and continue with you on your journey further.”

- Dr. Etta Gantt, PhD, LPC, NCC

When people hear “Veteran” they already assume so much about you.

Yes, it has played a huge part in shaping you, but it doesn’t say everything.

Your days or years in service may have been some of the best of your life. You may acknowledge the impact that your service has in leading you to your success today. Through your service, you became a better person, better at putting yourself out there, and in growing your self-competence and confidence.

Your military experience may have given you the stability you always needed growing up and allowed you to see so much more of the world. During your service you developed a strong work ethic, learned you were capable of more than you ever imagined, and discovered so much more of the world than you knew about. You are proud to be a veteran. 

Your experience in the military may also come with challenges or traumas. Or, the adjustment after your service may have been much more difficult than you expected. Now that you’ve shifted to civilian life, it feels like the person you were expected to be and the belief system you had to develop isn’t working anymore.

Your head is constantly on a swivel even though you know the grocery store is probably a safe place to be. But you also know that evil exists and danger is everywhere. You were trained and reinforced to be so “tough” and “strong.”

But now, your family doesn’t want you to be so tough - unless they’re scared and they feel safe knowing you will protect them.

So are you ever supposed to completely “lighten up?” It’s so frustrating trying to be so much for everyone and try to figure out what it is the world wants you to be.

The days are getting harder and harder to get through.

You know something has to give, but when you have tried to get mental health help before, it felt like no one was actually listening. 

For those who feel like they can’t take it anymore

The road has been so long. Loneliness, isolation, anger, and frustration doesn’t even begin to describe what you’ve felt. It would be a privilege to be allowed into your world and on your journey to help you find your way forward. I’m here to listen and understand and to go with you to all of the places that you’re ready for. 

For those who tell themselves “My experience wasn't as bad as other Veterans”

Your experience is valid. No matter the severity, frequency, or kind of trauma you experienced, you may not know how to feel about it, but you do know you’re different now. It’s all important and worthy to explore, feel, and heal. If you think there is pain lingering, it deserves to be seen and understood.

For those whose service is a thing of the past

I respect your choice if you don’t want to talk about it and I’m so happy for you if your experience has only positively impacted you. I honor your service and experience regardless if it feels relevant or traumatic for you today. It’s not for me to define your experience, but to understand it from your point of view.

For those who I didn’t describe

Your experience and what you’ve made of your service and your adjustment to civilian life is valid and worthy of being understood. I’m sorry if I didn’t get it right or attend to all that you’ve experienced. I can only continue to learn through your willingness and trust in me and to share. Veteran is only one part of your identity; I know that you are so much more.

You might have thought going to college would be the magic wand to set you free of your past and be the place where you would totally thrive, but it’s been so much harder than you imagined. Your friend group hasn’t quite clicked, you’re not sure your major is right for you, you’re spending half your time watching netflix, and now you’re wondering if you should transfer. Why did everyone always tell you these were supposed to be “the best four years of your life?” It might feel like everyone else has it figured out, and you’re completely lost. Sure, being a college student can be a lot of fun. You have so much freedom and new spaces to explore, but putting yourself out there can also be really scary. And, freedom can come with a lot more responsibility. You used to be in class with a routine and schedule almost all day, every day. Now, you only have to show up somewhere only 20% of the week and half of your professors don’t even take attendance. There’s no structure, but there’s still so much pressure because you want to do well and people are already asking what you want to do after college.

You’ve been depressed before, but it feels different this time. You’re surrounded by people but are still feeling alone. Now that you are away from home and in a new environment you might be thinking differently about your childhood and wondering if it wasn’t as idyllic as you thought and your relationships with your parents are becoming more strained. Or, your anxiety keeps switching from feeling anxious because you’re existentially anxious about having nothing to do to being frantically anxious to get everything done. It feels like everything and nothing is happening all at once and you have to figure so much of it out on your own. Your friends expect you to go out with them multiple times a week and it’s tons of fun! But, you end up feeling a lot more anxious and depressed the morning after. How are you supposed to know how much is too much?

For those with too much on their plate,

You’re doing it all. It feels like everyone else has it easy while you’re working multiple jobs and showing up to class. The expectations that you had have only multiplied since starting college and gaining all of this “freedom.” It’s not fair, and you’re a rockstar, but you deserve to have some time to take care of yourself.

For those whose plate feels too empty,

Your purpose is still there even if you don’t know what it is. Big changes, extra time, inconsistent routine, and having to make plans for your career and future can completely exhaust you and take away your drive to do any of it, because it just feels too overwhelming. We can take everything one step at a time to move you forward on this journey and to help you feel more connected with your purpose.

For those whose plate has turned entirely into drinking, drugs, and late night food,

You are just as worthy whether you are sitting on the couch and watching TV, or living it up with some new friends. The highs and lows associated with going out are taking a toll on you and a way you couldn’t have expected. Our behaviors can spiral quickly and you may feel like you're starting to lose yourself. Your hangovers are now accompanied with moral hangovers and the let downs are unbearable, but there’s a way to find more balance.

For those who I didn’t describe,

You aren’t just a college student - you are so much more. I’d love to get to know you and all that there is to you.

You knew it would be a big change, but still feel blindsided by the postpartum emotional rollercoaster.

You may feel guilt for not enjoying as much of what you thought was supposed to be a happy time. Your expectations have not met reality. You love your baby and want the world for them, but you’re wondering where is the “instant” special connection with your child that you’ve heard others talk about.

Questions are running through your mind like, “Is it ever going to get better?” or “Do I have what it takes to become a ‘good’ parent?” Some of what you’ve heard about Postpartum Depression is disturbing and scary.

When your doctor asks you if you’re having any symptoms of Postpartum Depression, you don’t know how to describe your experience, or you wave it away. You may have told friends or family how you were feeling and they didn’t respond the way you hoped.

You’re stuck inside all of the time, your schedule is hijacked, and you don’t know what to do.

Why is it that after you’ve become a parent, you feel so alone?

It's normal to grieve the life you had before children and to have difficulty adjusting to your new routine and dynamic with your partner. Feeling that you need time for yourself to focus on your interests and ambitions is normal too. There is no right way to navigate this phase and it is an act of self- compassion to seek support to help you get through it.

Everything you are doing is hard but incredible. In a safe and confidential environment we can work on expressing your raw feelings, letting go of expectations that are leaving you feeling trapped, cope with anxiety, and help you embrace your idea and lifestyle of the person and parent that you want to be. With compassionate and judgment free therapy, we can help you feel stable and step off the rollercoaster.

For those feeling alone and scared

You aren’t “crazy.” Although, feeling like you do, or being misunderstood can certainly make you feel that way. Struggling mentally during this time doesn’t mean you will feel like this forever. It also doesn’t mean you are destined to be a bad mom, that you’ll “lose control,” or that you will do something bad.

For those consumed with guilt

It’s okay if you’re ready for your maternity leave to be over, if you don’t miss your child all the time, or if you feel a sense of relief when you get a break. It’s okay if you still wish your miscarried child was born even after you delivered another baby. None of this makes you a bad parent. You are a person too and it’s okay to think of yourself that way.

For those with crippling fear and anxiety

Your instincts are on fire. You care so much that you’re terrified of anything bad that could happen. It can take time to feel like someone else can care for your baby or trust that they will be okay, but you don’t have to carry all of that fear alone or forever.

For those who I didn’t describe

Whether you are happy, you are angry, you aren’t a “traditional” mom or parent; you are a hero. You are embarking on one of the most important journeys or raising a human being. I’m sorry if I did not capture your experience, but know that your experience is valid and worth being heard, understood, and represented. Postpartum depression does not have to be contingent on being the one giving birth, so know that you may feel this way even if you are not a parent or mother who has given birth to your child.

Most of us have heard of the “mind-body connection”. But let me tell you about a world changing study you probably haven’t heard of, conducted in the 1990s by the Center of Disease Control and Prevention, and Kaiser Permanente.

The “ACE study”, which stands for “Adverse Childhood Experiences”, uncovered a shocking correlation between specific childhood experiences and the development of long term serious health diagnoses as adults. aimed to explore the correlation between childhood adversity and health issues in adulthood.

They found that exposure to particular experiences in childhood affected 67% of the population and could shorten life expectancy by 20 years, triple the likelihood of developing lung disease, and increase the likelihood of developing depression by 450%!!

You may be wondering what are these specific adverse experiences that can cause such long term and tragic outcomes?

The ACE questionnaire identifies adverse childhood experiences through a series of 10 questions, which fall into 3 categories. These induce 1) various types of household dysfunction, 2) emotional and physical neglect, and lastly, 3) any type of abuse, including emotional abuse, physical abuse, and sexual abuse.

The research revealsed the result of exposure effects adults in the following ways:

Physical Health

- Individuals with four or more ACEs are at a significantly higher risk of developing chronic diseases such as heart disease, diabetes, and cancer.

- The risk of chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD) is 2.5 times higher in individuals with a history of ACEs compared to those without.

Mental Health

- Individuals with a history of ACEs are more likely to experience depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts.

- The risk of attempting suicide is 12 times higher among individuals with four or more ACEs.

Substance Abuse

- The likelihood of engaging in substance abuse, including alcoholism and drug addiction, increases with the number of ACEs.

- Individuals with four or more ACEs are seven times more likely to become alcoholic and ten times more likely to use intravenous drugs.

Social & Financial Impact

- ACEs impact not only physical and mental health but also social well-being. Adults with a higher number of ACEs are more likely to experience unemployment, financial instability, and relationship difficulties.

Life Expectancy

- The cumulative effect of ACEs is profound. Individuals with six or more ACEs have a 20 years shorter life expectancy than those with no ACEs.

Pretty shocking, huh?!

These findings have some pretty big implications. For starters, I use this important screening tool with every single client who starts counseling at Ethredge Counseling Group. It helps us dial in, from the very beginning, on some of the most significant experiences our clients may have had, and shed light on what could be triggering multiple symptoms.

There are implications for our society at large as well. Addressing the widespread abuse and neglect that so many children are surviving on their own is crucial, as well as supporting caregivers who may struggle with their own mental health challenges.

We can help bring trauma-informed care to those who need it most, as well as educate parents, caregivers, and community members, thereby contributing to the creation of a safer and more nurturing environment for children.

Building supportive communities that prioritize the well-being of children is essential. Social programs, mental health services, and community resources can play a vital role in creating a protective environment for children at risk of ACEs.

Lastly, we can begin healing our own traumas, both “big” and “small”. Not only for the benefit of our own health, but for the healing and wellbeing of our families, our communities, and the world as a whole.