Trauma can be so difficult to label. We may cling to the word with hope that labeling it will set us free, or we may avoid the labeling, in fear that it might actually be true. Regardless, it’s safe to say that none of us are left unscathed in life and we’re all affected by trauma in some way.

Trauma is the scars you wear, visible and invisible, known and unknown.

It’s the core of the deep shame you carry, or the inexplicable fear, or the seemingly unjustified “over-reactions” you may have.

It’s the tears that come to our eyes when the truth of our trauma is revealed to you- through your own words, other’s reflections, or the show you were passively watching on TV.

It’s the anger, anxiety, sadness, and isolation you feel when someone makes a stupid joke. It’s the physical sensation of every ounce of your being feeling activated while somehow other parts feel numb or blind.

It’s the frustration of not understanding why you are acting the way you are.

It’s the depression and darkness you’ve come to know as your own self-worth.

It’s the story of your strength, even if it's one you don’t share. It’s become a part of you, even if you don’t want it there.

Whatever the cause of your trauma, or however far along you are in your journey of understanding and recovering from it, it’s a valuable part of you. But, it is not you. You may be frustrated. You feel like you keep repeating the same patterns over and over again, or that you’re stuck with this absence of peace in your life.

From a bird's eye view, you can understand it. You can pinpoint how the past has affected your present, but you're wondering why you can't change your issues yourself or move past it. It’s physical, it’s emotional, it’s mental. It takes time to understand and you are the perfect navigator. It’s a privilege for others to be a part of your journey. You don’t have to include them, but it may help. On the journey of navigating your trauma, you get to decide how far or how deep you go, and who you will take with you.

For those whose trauma is too scary and painful to touch

Don’t touch it alone. The darkest and scariest places are meant to be explored with a companion. If you’re not ready to touch it. That’s okay. We can learn how to make the most of your world around it. 

For those in the middle of trying to understand their trauma 

It might feel like you are stuck in the middle of the most confusing maze. You started this journey, but you may be wondering if there’s actually a way out. We can work so that you feel stronger and safer while in the maze. We might even find joy there! You certainly don’t have to walk this path alone.

For those who are doubting if their trauma is really trauma 

Self-doubt is a normal part of the game. Trauma is a full spectrum full of little T’s and Big T’s. All of your stories are worthy of being honored and explored. 

Trauma can be addressed in therapy in many different ways. A strong therapeutic relationship with your therapist is the most important factor. From managing triggers, to exploring your self-worth, the client is always in control of how far the trauma work goes. EMDR is a wonderful tool for exploring trauma (from the smallest to the biggest T) and rewiring a dysfunctional belief system. EMDR can help break frustrating behavior patterns you have, reducing triggers, and reprocessing emotions and physical sensations of the past.

When people hear “Veteran” they already assume so much about you.

Yes, it has played a huge part in shaping you, but it doesn’t say everything.

Your days or years in service may have been some of the best of your life. You may acknowledge the impact that your service has in leading you to your success today. Through your service, you became a better person, better at putting yourself out there, and in growing your self-competence and confidence.

Your military experience may have given you the stability you always needed growing up and allowed you to see so much more of the world. During your service you developed a strong work ethic, learned you were capable of more than you ever imagined, and discovered so much more of the world than you knew about. You are proud to be a veteran. 

Your experience in the military may also come with challenges or traumas. Or, the adjustment after your service may have been much more difficult than you expected. Now that you’ve shifted to civilian life, it feels like the person you were expected to be and the belief system you had to develop isn’t working anymore.

Your head is constantly on a swivel even though you know the grocery store is probably a safe place to be. But you also know that evil exists and danger is everywhere. You were trained and reinforced to be so “tough” and “strong.”

But now, your family doesn’t want you to be so tough - unless they’re scared and they feel safe knowing you will protect them.

So are you ever supposed to completely “lighten up?” It’s so frustrating trying to be so much for everyone and try to figure out what it is the world wants you to be.

The days are getting harder and harder to get through.

You know something has to give, but when you have tried to get mental health help before, it felt like no one was actually listening. 

For those who feel like they can’t take it anymore

The road has been so long. Loneliness, isolation, anger, and frustration doesn’t even begin to describe what you’ve felt. It would be a privilege to be allowed into your world and on your journey to help you find your way forward. I’m here to listen and understand and to go with you to all of the places that you’re ready for. 

For those who tell themselves “My experience wasn't as bad as other Veterans”

Your experience is valid. No matter the severity, frequency, or kind of trauma you experienced, you may not know how to feel about it, but you do know you’re different now. It’s all important and worthy to explore, feel, and heal. If you think there is pain lingering, it deserves to be seen and understood.

For those whose service is a thing of the past

I respect your choice if you don’t want to talk about it and I’m so happy for you if your experience has only positively impacted you. I honor your service and experience regardless if it feels relevant or traumatic for you today. It’s not for me to define your experience, but to understand it from your point of view.

For those who I didn’t describe

Your experience and what you’ve made of your service and your adjustment to civilian life is valid and worthy of being understood. I’m sorry if I didn’t get it right or attend to all that you’ve experienced. I can only continue to learn through your willingness and trust in me and to share. Veteran is only one part of your identity; I know that you are so much more.

Most of us have heard of the “mind-body connection”. But let me tell you about a world changing study you probably haven’t heard of, conducted in the 1990s by the Center of Disease Control and Prevention, and Kaiser Permanente.

The “ACE study”, which stands for “Adverse Childhood Experiences”, uncovered a shocking correlation between specific childhood experiences and the development of long term serious health diagnoses as adults. aimed to explore the correlation between childhood adversity and health issues in adulthood.

They found that exposure to particular experiences in childhood affected 67% of the population and could shorten life expectancy by 20 years, triple the likelihood of developing lung disease, and increase the likelihood of developing depression by 450%!!

You may be wondering what are these specific adverse experiences that can cause such long term and tragic outcomes?

The ACE questionnaire identifies adverse childhood experiences through a series of 10 questions, which fall into 3 categories. These induce 1) various types of household dysfunction, 2) emotional and physical neglect, and lastly, 3) any type of abuse, including emotional abuse, physical abuse, and sexual abuse.

The research revealsed the result of exposure effects adults in the following ways:

Physical Health

- Individuals with four or more ACEs are at a significantly higher risk of developing chronic diseases such as heart disease, diabetes, and cancer.

- The risk of chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD) is 2.5 times higher in individuals with a history of ACEs compared to those without.

Mental Health

- Individuals with a history of ACEs are more likely to experience depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts.

- The risk of attempting suicide is 12 times higher among individuals with four or more ACEs.

Substance Abuse

- The likelihood of engaging in substance abuse, including alcoholism and drug addiction, increases with the number of ACEs.

- Individuals with four or more ACEs are seven times more likely to become alcoholic and ten times more likely to use intravenous drugs.

Social & Financial Impact

- ACEs impact not only physical and mental health but also social well-being. Adults with a higher number of ACEs are more likely to experience unemployment, financial instability, and relationship difficulties.

Life Expectancy

- The cumulative effect of ACEs is profound. Individuals with six or more ACEs have a 20 years shorter life expectancy than those with no ACEs.

Pretty shocking, huh?!

These findings have some pretty big implications. For starters, I use this important screening tool with every single client who starts counseling at Ethredge Counseling Group. It helps us dial in, from the very beginning, on some of the most significant experiences our clients may have had, and shed light on what could be triggering multiple symptoms.

There are implications for our society at large as well. Addressing the widespread abuse and neglect that so many children are surviving on their own is crucial, as well as supporting caregivers who may struggle with their own mental health challenges.

We can help bring trauma-informed care to those who need it most, as well as educate parents, caregivers, and community members, thereby contributing to the creation of a safer and more nurturing environment for children.

Building supportive communities that prioritize the well-being of children is essential. Social programs, mental health services, and community resources can play a vital role in creating a protective environment for children at risk of ACEs.

Lastly, we can begin healing our own traumas, both “big” and “small”. Not only for the benefit of our own health, but for the healing and wellbeing of our families, our communities, and the world as a whole.

I often have clients start therapy by telling me they had idyllic childhoods, wonderful parents, and no traumatic experiences. 

And yet, they experience panic attacks, ruminating thoughts, insomnia, or low self esteem.

How do these people with such lovely lives, develop such limiting, frustrating, even devastating or debilitating symptoms?

The answer? Unresolved and unprocessed experiences, aka “trauma”. 

Now, many may balk at that statement! Perhaps you too feel you’ve had a trauma-free life, and yet experience some of the symptoms listed above. You view yourself as strong and capable, not as a victim with trauma. 

Stick with me here! 

I'm not here to convince you that you are a victim, or that you have some horrific event in your childhood which you’ve suppressed. Nor am I here to ruin your view of your childhood and say you had terrible parents!

I am here to challenge you to look deeper than the surface. To begin to understand the root cause of these symptoms. To validate the significance of the small and often neglected experiences that could be the source of your current struggles. 

“Trauma is an invisible force that shapes our lives. It shapes the way we live, the way we love and the way we make sense of the world. It is the root of our deepest wounds.”

― Gabor Maté

You may have first heard of EMDR through Whitney Rose (RHOSLC) when she spoke recently of her experience with it in therapy, or soccer superstar David Beckham using EMDR to treat fear and anxiety. EMDR, which stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, is finally entering the zeitgeist as a profoundly healing therapy modality used to treat anything from insomnia to combat trauma, and everything in between.

So, What is EMDR?

Eye Movement Disensitation & Reprossessiong (EMDR) is a therapy technique used to preprocess unresolved or unprocessed negative experiences. This reprocessing is different than typical talk therapy, as it’s paired with bi-lateral stimulation through eye movement.

Does It Actually Work?

The jury is in. EMDR is one of the most effective forms of treatment for trauma. One study showed it was not only more effective than Prozac, but once treatment was complete, clients continued to be asymptomatic, unlike those who’d taken Prozac!

In the journey towards healing from trauma, finding the right therapist is a crucial step. Charleston, SC, with its rich history and vibrant community, offers a variety of mental health professionals. However, the process of identifying a suitable trauma therapist can be overwhelming. This blog post aims to guide individuals through the steps of finding a good trauma therapist in Charleston, SC!

1. Understanding Trauma Therapy:

Before embarking on the search, it’s important to understand that there are many approaches to treating trauma, and there are many personal styles of therapy that differ between therapists. I think it’s essential to take a few moments and ponder what type of therapeutic relationship you are seeking. Some trauma approaches can be a bit cold and distant, but very clinical, while others can be quite holistic, incorporating the body through somatic approaches. A trauma therapist’s goal is (or should be) to help you safely process emotions related to your past experiences in a specialized way. They utilize various therapeutic approaches tailored to each person's unique needs.

2. Researching Therapists:

Start by compiling a list of trauma therapists in Charleston. Utilize online directories, mental health websites, or ask for recommendations from friends, family, or healthcare providers. Pay attention to therapists' specializations, ensuring they have experience in trauma-focused therapy.

Embarking on the path to healing from trauma is a courageous step, and finding the right therapist is so important to this journey. As you consider potential trauma therapists, know that it’s ok to ask questions and gather information so that you can make a decision you feel good about! Here are 18 questions to consider asking your potential therapist.

1. What is your experience in treating trauma?

Understanding a therapist's experience with treating trauma. Inquire about their years of practice, specific training in trauma therapy, and any certifications related to trauma treatment.