The ECG Blog
Life After The Military: Therapy for Veterans in South Carolina
When people hear “Veteran” they already assume so much about you.
Yes, it has played a huge part in shaping you, but it doesn’t say everything.
Your days or years in service may have been some of the best of your life. You may acknowledge the impact that your service has in leading you to your success today. Through your service, you became a better person, better at putting yourself out there, and in growing your self-competence and confidence.
Your military experience may have given you the stability you always needed growing up and allowed you to see so much more of the world. During your service you developed a strong work ethic, learned you were capable of more than you ever imagined, and discovered so much more of the world than you knew about. You are proud to be a veteran.
Your experience in the military may also come with challenges or traumas. Or, the adjustment after your service may have been much more difficult than you expected. Now that you’ve shifted to civilian life, it feels like the person you were expected to be and the belief system you had to develop isn’t working anymore.
Your head is constantly on a swivel even though you know the grocery store is probably a safe place to be. But you also know that evil exists and danger is everywhere. You were trained and reinforced to be so “tough” and “strong.”
But now, your family doesn’t want you to be so tough - unless they’re scared and they feel safe knowing you will protect them.
So are you ever supposed to completely “lighten up?” It’s so frustrating trying to be so much for everyone and try to figure out what it is the world wants you to be.
The days are getting harder and harder to get through.
You know something has to give, but when you have tried to get mental health help before, it felt like no one was actually listening.
For those who feel like they can’t take it anymore
The road has been so long. Loneliness, isolation, anger, and frustration doesn’t even begin to describe what you’ve felt. It would be a privilege to be allowed into your world and on your journey to help you find your way forward. I’m here to listen and understand and to go with you to all of the places that you’re ready for.
For those who tell themselves “My experience wasn't as bad as other Veterans”
Your experience is valid. No matter the severity, frequency, or kind of trauma you experienced, you may not know how to feel about it, but you do know you’re different now. It’s all important and worthy to explore, feel, and heal. If you think there is pain lingering, it deserves to be seen and understood.
For those whose service is a thing of the past
I respect your choice if you don’t want to talk about it and I’m so happy for you if your experience has only positively impacted you. I honor your service and experience regardless if it feels relevant or traumatic for you today. It’s not for me to define your experience, but to understand it from your point of view.
For those who I didn’t describe
Your experience and what you’ve made of your service and your adjustment to civilian life is valid and worthy of being understood. I’m sorry if I didn’t get it right or attend to all that you’ve experienced. I can only continue to learn through your willingness and trust in me and to share. Veteran is only one part of your identity; I know that you are so much more.
The “Best” Four Years Of Your Life: Therapy For College Students
You might have thought going to college would be the magic wand to set you free of your past and be the place where you would totally thrive, but it’s been so much harder than you imagined. Your friend group hasn’t quite clicked, you’re not sure your major is right for you, you’re spending half your time watching netflix, and now you’re wondering if you should transfer. Why did everyone always tell you these were supposed to be “the best four years of your life?” It might feel like everyone else has it figured out, and you’re completely lost. Sure, being a college student can be a lot of fun. You have so much freedom and new spaces to explore, but putting yourself out there can also be really scary. And, freedom can come with a lot more responsibility. You used to be in class with a routine and schedule almost all day, every day. Now, you only have to show up somewhere only 20% of the week and half of your professors don’t even take attendance. There’s no structure, but there’s still so much pressure because you want to do well and people are already asking what you want to do after college.
You’ve been depressed before, but it feels different this time. You’re surrounded by people but are still feeling alone. Now that you are away from home and in a new environment you might be thinking differently about your childhood and wondering if it wasn’t as idyllic as you thought and your relationships with your parents are becoming more strained. Or, your anxiety keeps switching from feeling anxious because you’re existentially anxious about having nothing to do to being frantically anxious to get everything done. It feels like everything and nothing is happening all at once and you have to figure so much of it out on your own. Your friends expect you to go out with them multiple times a week and it’s tons of fun! But, you end up feeling a lot more anxious and depressed the morning after. How are you supposed to know how much is too much?
For those with too much on their plate,
You’re doing it all. It feels like everyone else has it easy while you’re working multiple jobs and showing up to class. The expectations that you had have only multiplied since starting college and gaining all of this “freedom.” It’s not fair, and you’re a rockstar, but you deserve to have some time to take care of yourself.
For those whose plate feels too empty,
Your purpose is still there even if you don’t know what it is. Big changes, extra time, inconsistent routine, and having to make plans for your career and future can completely exhaust you and take away your drive to do any of it, because it just feels too overwhelming. We can take everything one step at a time to move you forward on this journey and to help you feel more connected with your purpose.
For those whose plate has turned entirely into drinking, drugs, and late night food,
You are just as worthy whether you are sitting on the couch and watching TV, or living it up with some new friends. The highs and lows associated with going out are taking a toll on you and a way you couldn’t have expected. Our behaviors can spiral quickly and you may feel like you're starting to lose yourself. Your hangovers are now accompanied with moral hangovers and the let downs are unbearable, but there’s a way to find more balance.
For those who I didn’t describe,
You aren’t just a college student - you are so much more. I’d love to get to know you and all that there is to you.