Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is one of the most widely recognized forms of psychotherapy. Google almost any mental health concern, and you will see CBT mentioned over and over again. But any good trauma therapist will know, CBT isn’t all its cracked up to be and may not be the best choice for you. While CBT can be helpful, its popularity is due more to its simplistic formula best suited for insurance companies requirements than its appropriateness or effectiveness.

Here are 10 concerns we have with CBT:

1. Limited focus on underlying causes: 

CBT primarily targets surface-level thoughts and behaviors. CBT may not be the best choice if the underlying causes of a person's issues are rooted in their past or subconscious mind. For those wanting to heal unresolved trauma or childhood wounds, there may be more suitable therapy modalities. 

2. Rigid format: 

The formulaic structure of CBT can feel impersonal, rigid, and isolating for those who prefer a more relational, exploratory, or open-ended approach. CBT exercises and interventions can feel prescriptive and artificial. 

3. Exacerbates Self-Critical Thoughts: 

CBT focuses on labeling thoughts and “adaptive” or “maladaptive”, which can exacerbate self-critical and shaming thoughts and feelings. For those who experience self-criticism, therapy approaches like Internal Family Systems or Person-Centered therapy will be more healing. 

4. Not A Well Rounded Trauma Treatment: 

Because trauma often does not get stored in the brain as a normal conscious and biographical memory, focusing on cognition and behavior may exacerbate a client’s symptoms. The effects of trauma are often experienced subcortically (in the subconscious), in the body (somatically), emotionally (right hemisphere), or as a dysregulated nervous system. CBT has a limited focus on these areas.

5. Not all issues are Cognitive: 

When someone is anxious or overwhelmed, the “logical” part of the brain shutdown. CBT emphasizes the left hemisphere of the brain (ie the verbal side), and can ignores both the body and the right hemisphere of the brain (ie experiential/emotional/nonverbal).

6. Short-term focus: 

CBT is generally considered a short-term therapy, which may not be ideal for individuals who desire an ongoing or open ended counseling style where they can talk about whatever feels most pressing that week. 

7. Overemphasis on self-help: 

Some individuals may feel overwhelmed or pressured by the emphasis on self-help techniques in CBT. They might prefer a therapy that relies more on the therapist's guidance and support or emphasizes organic exploration and verbal processing.

8. Limited scope for exploring emotions: 

CBT tends to prioritize thoughts and behaviors over emotions. For people who need to work through deep-seated emotional issues or trauma, other therapeutic modalities like psychodynamic or experiential therapies may be more appropriate. Similarly, for those who tend to intellectualize their issues, CBT may exacerbate emotional avoidance. 

9. Lack of holistic approach: 

CBT often focuses on specific problems or symptoms, and it may not take into account the broader context of a person's life, including their relationships, social environment, and overall well-being.

10. Incompatibility with specific goals: 

If an individual's therapeutic goals are more oriented toward personal growth, self-exploration, or understanding the meaning of life, CBT may not align with these objectives.

It's important to remember that therapy is not one-size-fits-all, and the choice of the most suitable therapeutic approach should be based on an individual's unique needs and preferences. Ethredge Counseling Group is committed to high quality holistic therapy modalities that will explore the underlying cause, not putting a bandaid over the surface issue.

If you live in South Carolina or Tennessee and are interested in mental health counseling, you can schedule a 20min free consultation with a licensed professional counselor by following the link below!

The thought of getting started with therapy for the first time can be very intimidating.

You may be worried that your problems are either too small or too big. You may fear therapy is all about blaming others. Or, worse… you may fear your therapist may secretly judge you and blame you for everything!

Are you expected to cry the whole time? Does it look bad if you cry too much? The good news is that there is actually no right way to do therapy and the most important thing is that you just be yourself! Your licensed therapist is trained to help you do that and then help you move forward with your life. If you can’t be your most authentic self in therapy, then you won’t go as far!

Three Myths About Therapy

1) You have to have a serious mental illness

I hear friends and others say all the time that what they are going through “isn’t that bad,” when they are contemplating whether or not they should start therapy. One myth around therapy is that your life has to be falling apart for you to need some sort of help. Or, that you’ve had to experience a significant trauma or disaster to be worthy of getting help. This is not true! Whether your mental health symptoms are severe, or not, therapy is available to help you grow and change. If you keep getting stuck in the same patterns, (like avoiding conflict or “overreacting” to the same problem again and again), if you feel like your self-worth isn’t what it should be, or if you’re constantly turning to binging tv or having an extra glass of wine instead of doing something healthy for yourself, then therapy is a great option for you!

Therapy is now more strength based and has a heightened awareness of wellness, relationships, and optimal growth. This means that therapy isn’t dependent on a mental health diagnosis to get treatment (diagnoses can be helpful, but they may not be necessary!). It’s a brave step to get therapy even if you don’t feel like your life is falling apart. Starting therapy can feel scary- but, that’s what your therapist is there for! They can help you move through it!

2) Therapy is for getting great advice

The most common myth I’ve seen first-time therapy clients falling victim to is the idea that they should go to therapy to get great advice. Along with this belief, they expect their therapist to be doing all of the talking, leading, teaching, and advice giving. However, the reality is that you will and should be doing most of the talking and your therapist will help you understand yourself better so you can be empowered to make your own decisions for your life. Therapists are trained to actively listen to clients to help reflect what the client is experiencing. This process helps clients to better understand themselves, their needs, their goals, and their shortcomings. This requires the client to do a lot of the talking and sometimes leading in session as well.

The more the therapist understands you, the more they can provide insight, interventions, and education to help you move forward. Education and intervention isn’t typically the first step of therapy. Instead, the first few sessions usually have a lot to do with them getting to know you the best that they can so they can then work with you to help you move forward. The closest thing a client typically gets to “advice” is some psychoeducation around coping, communicating, and managing trauma and the nervous system. But, when it comes to advice on what you do with your life, it’s a lot more empowering, and the change is a lot more long lasting, when therapy helps you begin making those decisions yourself.

3) You have to find the “perfect fit”

It’s great news that therapy is becoming less stigmatized and more people are reaching out to start therapy. This means that more therapists are becoming available in big and small cities, alike. However, within this trend, a new myth around therapy has developed that encourages “shopping around” for your therapist to “find the perfect fit.” Unfortunately, the myth of the “perfect fit” sometimes keeps clients from being able to accept their therapist and open up in the therapy room. Then, they quit therapy early on, or go on an endless search to find this ideal match, and they never end up getting the benefits that come from therapy. Many therapists specialize in certain issues or with certain populations. This may help guide your search and help you find a “good fit”, but the idea that there is a “perfect fit” is a myth.

The therapeutic relationship is an integral part of every therapy session. This means that the therapist will use intentional skills to make you feel more comfortable and less judged. The therapeutic relationship helps provide a safe and secure connection that will support your optimal growth. Your therapist is a unique person! They need to be that person in order to successfully build the therapeutic relationship. The therapist that helps you achieve your goals might not be exactly what you imagined or expected, but you will be so glad that you gave them a chance.

If you are interested in learning more about how counseling or therapy can help you, schedule a free 20 min consultation with a licensed professional therapist by following the link below!

Trauma can be so difficult to label. We may cling to the word with hope that labeling it will set us free, or we may avoid the labeling, in fear that it might actually be true. Regardless, it’s safe to say that none of us are left unscathed in life and we’re all affected by trauma in some way.

Trauma is the scars you wear, visible and invisible, known and unknown.

It’s the core of the deep shame you carry, or the inexplicable fear, or the seemingly unjustified “over-reactions” you may have.

It’s the tears that come to our eyes when the truth of our trauma is revealed to you- through your own words, other’s reflections, or the show you were passively watching on TV.

It’s the anger, anxiety, sadness, and isolation you feel when someone makes a stupid joke. It’s the physical sensation of every ounce of your being feeling activated while somehow other parts feel numb or blind.

It’s the frustration of not understanding why you are acting the way you are.

It’s the depression and darkness you’ve come to know as your own self-worth.

It’s the story of your strength, even if it's one you don’t share. It’s become a part of you, even if you don’t want it there.

Whatever the cause of your trauma, or however far along you are in your journey of understanding and recovering from it, it’s a valuable part of you. But, it is not you. You may be frustrated. You feel like you keep repeating the same patterns over and over again, or that you’re stuck with this absence of peace in your life.

From a bird's eye view, you can understand it. You can pinpoint how the past has affected your present, but you're wondering why you can't change your issues yourself or move past it. It’s physical, it’s emotional, it’s mental. It takes time to understand and you are the perfect navigator. It’s a privilege for others to be a part of your journey. You don’t have to include them, but it may help. On the journey of navigating your trauma, you get to decide how far or how deep you go, and who you will take with you.

For those whose trauma is too scary and painful to touch

Don’t touch it alone. The darkest and scariest places are meant to be explored with a companion. If you’re not ready to touch it. That’s okay. We can learn how to make the most of your world around it. 

For those in the middle of trying to understand their trauma 

It might feel like you are stuck in the middle of the most confusing maze. You started this journey, but you may be wondering if there’s actually a way out. We can work so that you feel stronger and safer while in the maze. We might even find joy there! You certainly don’t have to walk this path alone.

For those who are doubting if their trauma is really trauma 

Self-doubt is a normal part of the game. Trauma is a full spectrum full of little T’s and Big T’s. All of your stories are worthy of being honored and explored. 

Trauma can be addressed in therapy in many different ways. A strong therapeutic relationship with your therapist is the most important factor. From managing triggers, to exploring your self-worth, the client is always in control of how far the trauma work goes. EMDR is a wonderful tool for exploring trauma (from the smallest to the biggest T) and rewiring a dysfunctional belief system. EMDR can help break frustrating behavior patterns you have, reducing triggers, and reprocessing emotions and physical sensations of the past.

Anxiety can be unbearable. Panic can be worse!

The experience of a panic attack can be absolutely terrifying. The recovery time following a panic attack can feel disheartening and bring on feelings of hopelessness. Having strategies to manage anxiety and panic once you start spiraling is critical.

The tips below can help not only to end panic, but to prevent it, so that you can continue to move forward without a total collapse. Try out any, or many, of these 10 tips for managing panic to try to stop spiraling and to keep yourself feeling less out of control.

10 Tips To Stop Panic Attacks

Write It Out

when racing thoughts start to come, and the fear that they carry with them escalates, you need to get them out! Writing out your anxious and racing thoughts not only helps to get them out of your head and on to paper, but it also helps you to feel more in control and to see them more clearly. They change from the vague and rushing blur to hear head to identifiable small words on a paper.

Talk to Someone You Can Trust

Both writing, and talking out your thoughts,In the same can help to release them and not have them feel so scary. It’s important that when you do share your thoughts, you share them with someone you trust. If you share your anxious thoughts and the story of what you’re going through with someone that supports and understands you, then you can quickly start feeling less isolated and afraid.

Deep Breathing

Deep breathing is the gold standard for managing panic. Deep breathing provides immediate relief to your nervous system, which can help relax your mind and body and shift you out of panic mode. Successful deep breathing includes inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth and repeating this multiple times (at least 5 if you’re feeling panicky!). As you inhale, you want to practice first filling up your lungs and diaphragm with your brath. Then, as you continue breathing, and then try to work on using your inhale to fill your belly. Holding your inhales can help to release more and extend your exhales! Successful deep breathing takes practice, so try it out every morning!

The 5,4,3,2,1 Check In

This technique is great for grounding when panic hits! You’ll check in with all of your senses to bring yourself back into your body and connect to the present moment. Identify 5 things you can see and try to use an adjective to describe it (for example: pink shirt, gray wall, striped pillow, yellow pencil), 4 things you can touch (ex: suede shoe, rough wall, smooth folder, soft shirt), 3 things you can hear (ex: cars going by, the AC, your own breathing, laughter), 2 things you can smell (coffee, your deodorant, the plant, your coworkers lunch), and 1 thing you can taste (find a drink or snack, or just identify the weird taste of your own mouth).

Step Outside

Get some fresh air! Whether you're stepping into your yard, or out of the crowded room. Give yourself some space from where you're having overwhelming thoughts or feelings that are turning into panic. Your environment plays a big role in your physical and mental well being, so step away to feel less stuck and more in control!

Create Something

Getting creative is a wonderful way to help remove yourself from overwhelming thoughts and anxiety and to channel them into something new. Creativity does NOT have to mean that you are creating a gorgeous painting (although art is a wonderful way to express yourself). But, creativity is any action that is generating something new. You can embrace creativity by cooking, baking, woodworking, playing with legos/ building materials, graphic design, or even gardening.

Anxious thoughts and the accompanying rollercoaster of emotions keep you feeling constantly out of control.

Anxiety has a really cruel way of getting into your head and making you doubt everything you think you know about yourself. Your rational mind can tell you everything is just fine and your anxiety is probably just playing tricks on you. But, once it hits, you’re lost in a sea of fear and self-guilt. Your anxiety may only show up in certain places, like at work, in relationships, or in social settings. But when it does show up, it feels like it’s killing you. Everyone else may see you as doing great but you feel like your head is barely above water.

In some ways, your anxiety may feel like it’s one of your greatest strengths.

It may be the reason you work so hard and have found so much success. But, it also might be the reason you can never feel at peace. Your anxiety may also protect you. It helps you realize what are threats and challenges and hyperfocusing on them may help you overcome them. You may have started to believe that creating your worst case scenario in your head before it happens is a helpful strategy, because you basically have already experienced the worst thing that could happen, so you can’t actually be hurt. Or, you may have found that ruminating about “worst case scenarios”, “what if” thoughts, and your endless threads of guilt helps you feel control in a world that feels so out of control.

From the stomach aches you’ve had before the game, to the dread of thinking about having to go to school, to the constant fear about what’s going to happen, it’s not fair to have had to experience so much agony for so long. Just because you’ve been dealing with it for as long as you can remember, doesn’t mean you have to deal with it alone, or that it won’t get better. If your anxiety has led you to a place of hopelessness or if your cruel anxious thoughts have taken over your belief system, it’s terrifying but it’s not true. You have a chance to live more congruently. The anxiety may always be there but it doesn’t have to hold you back so much.

For those whose crippling fear holds them back…

Whether your fear prevents you from going somewhere or doing something, or it just plagues you the entire time beforehand, it’s not fair that you have to feel this way. You are so capable even if you can’t see it. Your truth about what you can do is there under all of that fear and shame.

For those with constant guilt and self-doubt at the end of the day

We can be so much more brutal to ourselves than anybody else is. If you said the wrong thing, that doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. If you made a mistake, that doesn’t mean it can’t be fixed. If you’re making up scenarios to feel guilty about, that underlying self-hatred can be let go of.

For those with an anxious attachment style…

Big changes take time and anxious attachment styles run deep. It's so frustrating to feel like you understand where your problems come from but not be able to move past them. Healing from the inside out and practicing communicating your boundaries and needs will help you shine in your relationships, just like you do in all the other areas of your life!

Dr. Julia Platt of Elevate Spinal Care in Charleston, SC

Now, if you’ve read Part I, you are fully on your way to a solid morning already. You’ve prepared for your busy day ahead and you’ve had adequate sleep. So let’s jump in to the various parts of my own personal morning routine!

A Positive Thought

I don’t remember who told me this, but somewhere along the line I was told to start the morning with a positive thought. My thought? “That’s so corny!!” But, on second thought, I realized I do consistently start my day with negative mantras and self-fulfilling phropesies like “Oh no way, I can’t do this again”, or “Today is going to be terrible”. I realized I already have the routine in place, and man was it working… just in the wrong direction. I challenged myself to practice saying the opposite. (Because it’s true, pain is inevitable, but suffering is a choice.) I challenge you to start the day with a positive thought. Something you can believe, at least partially. I like to say the simple, but corny line, “today is going to be a good day”. On the surface that may sound like toxic positivity, but for me it is truth and I have found it to be helpful. At my core, I know each day has many hidden gifts, should I choose to notice them. And a day with gifts is just inherently a “good day” in my mind. But feel free to pick something that resonates with you!

No Snooze!

“But, I need a few minutes to wake up!” I can hear you say. And yes, I get it! I need a few minutes, too. The problem with hitting snooze is 1) it isn’t quality sleep you are getting 2) you reinforce to your body that it should sleep through the sound of your alarm, and 3) when falling back asleep you begin a new sleep cycle, and interrupting a sleep cycle is the surest way to feel tired, grumpy, and just bad. (Mel Robbins has a great short video with more information). The solution I have found is to set two alarms. Because I can’t stand the obnoxious beep of most alarms, and am such a nature girl at heart, my first alarm is a lovely recording of bird songs that starts softly and increases in volume. This first alarm is set for 5 minutes before my second, obnoxious alarm, at which time I get up. This gives me a nice transition from sleep to awake.

Turn Down The Bed

As soon as I get up, I pull the sheet and blankets down to air out the bed. This is a hack I think I learned from my biology professor way back when, if I remember correctly. A study at Kingston University found that making your bed immediately traps moisture and warmth, the perfect environment for dust mites! I have found that it also makes it less inviting to jump back into in a weak moment…

Water, Times Two

Now that Im up, I use a tongue scraper and splash cold water on my face. Cold water on your face is great as a nervous system restarter, as well as great for depuffing your eyes! Now that Im awake (thank you, freezing cold water), I guzzle at least 16oz of water. By the time you wake up in the morning, your body is in a pretty intense state of dehydration, even if you did a good job of hydrating the evening before. Did you know 75% of Americans are in a chronic state of dehydration?! And did you also know that dehydration significantly negatively affects your mental health!?!?! Getting rehydrated first thing in the morning sets up your body and mind for an emotionally stable day.

Movement & Morning Sunlight

For me, this looks like taking an hour walk first thing in the morning, boosting my energy and creating a clear and grounded mind. If you are someone who relies on coffee to wake-up, you are likely missing several things in your evening and morning routines. Morning sunlight and morning movement will be important habits for you to incorporate. Early morning sunlight jump starts your melatonin production (i.e. your sleep hormone), which your body will need at night in order to fall asleep. Morning sunlight also resets your circadian rhythm! This puts you on track to have energy and feel tired at the appropriate hours of the day. For those who prefer to lift weights or go to a gym in the morning, just make sure you turn your face to the sun and take in those early morning rays!

Make My Bed

Once I return home, I make my bed. Check out Admiral William H. Raven’s commencement speech about the importance he sees in this simple task! In life’s chaos, I have found this habit to have a surprisingly positive ripple effect throughout my day. Its the easiest dopamine hit you can get and makes you feel good about yourself fist thing in the day!

Fuel Your Body, Support Your Mind

I aim to eat a protein heavy breakfast within 90minutes of waking up, and never consume caffeine on an empty stomach. If you wait longer than 90minutes to eat, your bood sugar levels can plummet, triggering increased cortisol, adrenal fatigue, mood swings, anxiety, and a whole host of other problems. (Here is a short blog post with more information.) Starting your day with protein is particularly important for those who experience anxiety, fatigue, or mood swings. It gives you sustained energy and healthy fat your brain needs to function well.

A Note On Phone Use

You may have noticed I haven’t mentioned my phone, checking social media, or answering emails. That is because I haven’t even turned my phone on yet! Wild, I know. I experienced a huge positive shift in my life when I began setting boundaries around phone use, and putting boundaries between my priorities and others priorities. This shifts your from a reactive mindset, to a proactive mindset. Once I have taken care of my body and mind, Im ready to shift my focus to others from a healthy, grounded place. While waiting 1.5 hours to turn on your phone may not feel possible just yet, I urge you to start small and work your way up to at least 30minutes.

Workday Startup Ritual

Im currently working on creating my own Startup Ritual, but find it helpful 1) set 3 manageable goals 2) review my schedule, 3) start with the tasks I most dread so that I can knock it out fist and move on! One you have entered your work station (whether it is a corporate office setting, or simply your dining room table) take a moment to take a deep breath. Take a moment to close your eyes, settle your nervous system, and bring a moment of mindful awareness before stepping into your work day.

Conclusion

Crafting a morning routine tailored to your needs and preferences can significantly impact the trajectory of your day. By incorporating simple yet effective habits, such as starting with a positive thought, avoiding the snooze button, and hydrating your body, you set yourself up for success from the moment you wake up. Embracing movement and sunlight not only energizes your body but also aligns your circadian rhythm for improved sleep quality. Making your bed and nourishing your body with a protein-rich breakfast increases your sense of accomplishment and mental clarity.

Remember, consistency is key when building a morning routine. Start small and gradually incorporate additional habits that resonate with you. By investing in your morning routine, you invest in your overall well-being and set the stage for a fulfilling and productive day ahead, moving your from a stressful and reactive mindset, to a grounded and proactive one!

I remember all too clearly the chaos of waking up tired and late, running out the door feeling unprepared, and wondering why I never seemed to have enough hours in the day. Little did I know at the time, it had a whole lot to do with my poor boundaries and my lack of an established morning routine. I knew I needed help, so like many of us, I turned to Google, and thus began my trial and error journey to finding my PERFECT morning routine. I knew I needed help in improving my mood, and little did I know it would change my life!

Don’t worry, Im not one of those (unrelateable) people who gets up before the sun and crushes a marathon and an icebath before breakfast. It turns out, the perfect morning routine does not start at 5am. It actually starts… the evening before! Though my experience as a therapist, I have again and again found that being proactive is the cure to being reactive, and going through your day reactive and rocked back on your heals is no way to live. So, follow along for Part-1 to learn the crucial proactive first steps to a solid day. This is my solid, researched based, Nero-informed, therapist approved routine that you can begin implementing right away!

So let’s get to it. Before I go into the why’s and how’s, let me share with you my AM and PM routines, as it stands now:

Navigating the multitude of therapy options when you are looking for a new therapist can feel overwhelming. One of the many factors to contemplate is whether to use private-pay or cash-pay service, or to use insurance-based coverage.

In this blog post, we invite you to explore the unique benefits of private pay psychotherapy, tailored specifically to your needs and preferences. Additionally, we'll provide valuable insights into the potential drawbacks of relying solely on insurance for mental health support.

12 Benefits to Private-Pay Counseling Vs Using Insurance

1) Confidentiality & Privacy

   One of the biggest advantages of private-pay or cash-pay therapy is the enhanced confidentiality it offers. When you pay out-of-pocket for therapy, your sessions remain entirely private between you and your therapist. Insurance claims, on the other hand, require the submission of a diagnosis, which becomes a part of your permanent health record. When using insurance, sensitive information is shared with the insurance company to process claims, raising concerns about the privacy and security of personal health information, as well as potential repercussions related to the disclosure of mental health diagnoses.This added layer of privacy in private-pay therapy can encourage open communication and trust between you and your therapist.

My name is Alexa Aboudaram, owner of Navigating Nutrients. I am an Functional Nutritional Therapy Practitioner (FNTP)

Why did you open Navigating Nutrients?

In 2017, I was diagnosed with an underactive thyroid, prescribed medication, and informed I would continue to need a higher dose for the rest of my life and that there was nothing I could do about any of it. What a shock! I felt helpless and “doomed” to my symptoms and medication forever. ​

Throughout the following year, I experienced debilitating fatigue, underwent half a dozen surgeries, and had a list of questions my doctors couldn’t answer. My medication dose tripled, yet I was feeling worse than ever. I was frustrated that my body seemed like it was falling apart so young.

I refused to stand idly by; I wanted to take charge of my health and get to the truth.Through the suggestion of a good doctor and a year of trial and error, my symptoms vanished, and I entered into remission; all because of food and lifestyle changes. In awe of what nutrition could do, I enrolled at the National Therapy Association soon after starting Navigating Nutrients.

SolShine Bodywork

TW: Self-harm, Suicide, Depression

If you need immediate help, call the national suicide hotline at 988 now

I don’t think you’re selfish, I think you’re hurting.

The dark cloud may have taken over everything. This feels like more than what you know about anxiety or depression.

You can’t think straight or even picture a life past tomorrow.

It feels like there is no way out or any way that things could possibly get better. You’ve reached the point where it doesn’t feel like there’s a place or hope for your life on this earth.

You’ve been plagued with constant thoughts of suicide, death, or dying.

Even if you don’t actually want to hurt yourself, you can’t help but think that it would just be easier if you could fall asleep and never wake up.

You may have experienced recent losses, be riddled with shame about the past, or fear about the future.

You try to come up with ways to get rid of the dark cloud throughout the day. But it's still there at work, or when you binge netflix, or after you scroll tiktok, and definitely after you wake up from a night of drinking.

It’s terrifying and exhausting and it feels way too scary to talk about with anybody. Or, you may have tried to tell someone, but the person you wanted to trust didn’t respond in the way you wanted. Now, you feel betrayed and disappointed, on top of everything else.

Suicidal thoughts come when we feel like there is no other way out to escape the pain or situation that we are in. Suicidal thoughts seem like the answer or escape rout to set you free, and it’s helpful to remember that the most intense moments of feeling suicidal are usually in response to crises or depressive episodes.

This means the waves of urgency can pass and there is hope and warmth on the other side of that sheet of pure darkness.

Through therapy, we can work on reducing feelings of shame and guilt, move through grief and loss, explore purpose and lifestyle choices that are congruent with your true self. We can take things day by day, or week by week until you are back on your feet, able to see a future, and can live and thrive.

You may or may not need more urgent or inpatient care to get you to safety and stability, but individual therapy is there for you upon your return. 

For those who are getting close to it

Your fight against the darkness has become too much, but something has prevented you from giving up your life. You deserve to stay safe until this moment passes. You’re worthy of receiving help that will support you as you heal.

For those who have attempted 

I am so glad you are still here. Everything became too much and you couldn’t take it anymore, but you are here and that means there’s still hope. Whether you feel gratitude, shame, regret, or more fear after your attempt, you don’t have to feel that alone. And we can work together to keep you moving forward.

For those who feel like you never could or would 

I’m sorry you have to suffer through the thoughts nonetheless. Suicidal thoughts or thoughts wishing you could go to heaven or fall asleep and never wake up are telling you that something feels wrong. We can find out how to make things right to feel like your life is worth living. 

For those who I didn’t describe, but still struggle with thoughts of suicide 

You are worthy. You deserve to feel seen and understood. You deserve to be supported. 

If your safety or livelihood is immediately at risk because of your suicidal thoughts, and you need help to keep yourself safe please call 988, the suicide hotline, or mobile crisis if you are in Charleston at (843)414-2350. These resources can help you explore your options to keep yourself safe and wait for this moment or episode to pass. 

“Upon your position of safety, I would be honored to work with you and continue with you on your journey further.”

- Dr. Etta Gantt, PhD, LPC, NCC

When people hear “Veteran” they already assume so much about you.

Yes, it has played a huge part in shaping you, but it doesn’t say everything.

Your days or years in service may have been some of the best of your life. You may acknowledge the impact that your service has in leading you to your success today. Through your service, you became a better person, better at putting yourself out there, and in growing your self-competence and confidence.

Your military experience may have given you the stability you always needed growing up and allowed you to see so much more of the world. During your service you developed a strong work ethic, learned you were capable of more than you ever imagined, and discovered so much more of the world than you knew about. You are proud to be a veteran. 

Your experience in the military may also come with challenges or traumas. Or, the adjustment after your service may have been much more difficult than you expected. Now that you’ve shifted to civilian life, it feels like the person you were expected to be and the belief system you had to develop isn’t working anymore.

Your head is constantly on a swivel even though you know the grocery store is probably a safe place to be. But you also know that evil exists and danger is everywhere. You were trained and reinforced to be so “tough” and “strong.”

But now, your family doesn’t want you to be so tough - unless they’re scared and they feel safe knowing you will protect them.

So are you ever supposed to completely “lighten up?” It’s so frustrating trying to be so much for everyone and try to figure out what it is the world wants you to be.

The days are getting harder and harder to get through.

You know something has to give, but when you have tried to get mental health help before, it felt like no one was actually listening. 

For those who feel like they can’t take it anymore

The road has been so long. Loneliness, isolation, anger, and frustration doesn’t even begin to describe what you’ve felt. It would be a privilege to be allowed into your world and on your journey to help you find your way forward. I’m here to listen and understand and to go with you to all of the places that you’re ready for. 

For those who tell themselves “My experience wasn't as bad as other Veterans”

Your experience is valid. No matter the severity, frequency, or kind of trauma you experienced, you may not know how to feel about it, but you do know you’re different now. It’s all important and worthy to explore, feel, and heal. If you think there is pain lingering, it deserves to be seen and understood.

For those whose service is a thing of the past

I respect your choice if you don’t want to talk about it and I’m so happy for you if your experience has only positively impacted you. I honor your service and experience regardless if it feels relevant or traumatic for you today. It’s not for me to define your experience, but to understand it from your point of view.

For those who I didn’t describe

Your experience and what you’ve made of your service and your adjustment to civilian life is valid and worthy of being understood. I’m sorry if I didn’t get it right or attend to all that you’ve experienced. I can only continue to learn through your willingness and trust in me and to share. Veteran is only one part of your identity; I know that you are so much more.

You might have thought going to college would be the magic wand to set you free of your past and be the place where you would totally thrive, but it’s been so much harder than you imagined. Your friend group hasn’t quite clicked, you’re not sure your major is right for you, you’re spending half your time watching netflix, and now you’re wondering if you should transfer. Why did everyone always tell you these were supposed to be “the best four years of your life?” It might feel like everyone else has it figured out, and you’re completely lost. Sure, being a college student can be a lot of fun. You have so much freedom and new spaces to explore, but putting yourself out there can also be really scary. And, freedom can come with a lot more responsibility. You used to be in class with a routine and schedule almost all day, every day. Now, you only have to show up somewhere only 20% of the week and half of your professors don’t even take attendance. There’s no structure, but there’s still so much pressure because you want to do well and people are already asking what you want to do after college.

You’ve been depressed before, but it feels different this time. You’re surrounded by people but are still feeling alone. Now that you are away from home and in a new environment you might be thinking differently about your childhood and wondering if it wasn’t as idyllic as you thought and your relationships with your parents are becoming more strained. Or, your anxiety keeps switching from feeling anxious because you’re existentially anxious about having nothing to do to being frantically anxious to get everything done. It feels like everything and nothing is happening all at once and you have to figure so much of it out on your own. Your friends expect you to go out with them multiple times a week and it’s tons of fun! But, you end up feeling a lot more anxious and depressed the morning after. How are you supposed to know how much is too much?

For those with too much on their plate,

You’re doing it all. It feels like everyone else has it easy while you’re working multiple jobs and showing up to class. The expectations that you had have only multiplied since starting college and gaining all of this “freedom.” It’s not fair, and you’re a rockstar, but you deserve to have some time to take care of yourself.

For those whose plate feels too empty,

Your purpose is still there even if you don’t know what it is. Big changes, extra time, inconsistent routine, and having to make plans for your career and future can completely exhaust you and take away your drive to do any of it, because it just feels too overwhelming. We can take everything one step at a time to move you forward on this journey and to help you feel more connected with your purpose.

For those whose plate has turned entirely into drinking, drugs, and late night food,

You are just as worthy whether you are sitting on the couch and watching TV, or living it up with some new friends. The highs and lows associated with going out are taking a toll on you and a way you couldn’t have expected. Our behaviors can spiral quickly and you may feel like you're starting to lose yourself. Your hangovers are now accompanied with moral hangovers and the let downs are unbearable, but there’s a way to find more balance.

For those who I didn’t describe,

You aren’t just a college student - you are so much more. I’d love to get to know you and all that there is to you.

You knew it would be a big change, but still feel blindsided by the postpartum emotional rollercoaster.

You may feel guilt for not enjoying as much of what you thought was supposed to be a happy time. Your expectations have not met reality. You love your baby and want the world for them, but you’re wondering where is the “instant” special connection with your child that you’ve heard others talk about.

Questions are running through your mind like, “Is it ever going to get better?” or “Do I have what it takes to become a ‘good’ parent?” Some of what you’ve heard about Postpartum Depression is disturbing and scary.

When your doctor asks you if you’re having any symptoms of Postpartum Depression, you don’t know how to describe your experience, or you wave it away. You may have told friends or family how you were feeling and they didn’t respond the way you hoped.

You’re stuck inside all of the time, your schedule is hijacked, and you don’t know what to do.

Why is it that after you’ve become a parent, you feel so alone?

It's normal to grieve the life you had before children and to have difficulty adjusting to your new routine and dynamic with your partner. Feeling that you need time for yourself to focus on your interests and ambitions is normal too. There is no right way to navigate this phase and it is an act of self- compassion to seek support to help you get through it.

Everything you are doing is hard but incredible. In a safe and confidential environment we can work on expressing your raw feelings, letting go of expectations that are leaving you feeling trapped, cope with anxiety, and help you embrace your idea and lifestyle of the person and parent that you want to be. With compassionate and judgment free therapy, we can help you feel stable and step off the rollercoaster.

For those feeling alone and scared

You aren’t “crazy.” Although, feeling like you do, or being misunderstood can certainly make you feel that way. Struggling mentally during this time doesn’t mean you will feel like this forever. It also doesn’t mean you are destined to be a bad mom, that you’ll “lose control,” or that you will do something bad.

For those consumed with guilt

It’s okay if you’re ready for your maternity leave to be over, if you don’t miss your child all the time, or if you feel a sense of relief when you get a break. It’s okay if you still wish your miscarried child was born even after you delivered another baby. None of this makes you a bad parent. You are a person too and it’s okay to think of yourself that way.

For those with crippling fear and anxiety

Your instincts are on fire. You care so much that you’re terrified of anything bad that could happen. It can take time to feel like someone else can care for your baby or trust that they will be okay, but you don’t have to carry all of that fear alone or forever.

For those who I didn’t describe

Whether you are happy, you are angry, you aren’t a “traditional” mom or parent; you are a hero. You are embarking on one of the most important journeys or raising a human being. I’m sorry if I did not capture your experience, but know that your experience is valid and worth being heard, understood, and represented. Postpartum depression does not have to be contingent on being the one giving birth, so know that you may feel this way even if you are not a parent or mother who has given birth to your child.

Most of us have heard of the “mind-body connection”. But let me tell you about a world changing study you probably haven’t heard of, conducted in the 1990s by the Center of Disease Control and Prevention, and Kaiser Permanente.

The “ACE study”, which stands for “Adverse Childhood Experiences”, uncovered a shocking correlation between specific childhood experiences and the development of long term serious health diagnoses as adults. aimed to explore the correlation between childhood adversity and health issues in adulthood.

They found that exposure to particular experiences in childhood affected 67% of the population and could shorten life expectancy by 20 years, triple the likelihood of developing lung disease, and increase the likelihood of developing depression by 450%!!

You may be wondering what are these specific adverse experiences that can cause such long term and tragic outcomes?

The ACE questionnaire identifies adverse childhood experiences through a series of 10 questions, which fall into 3 categories. These induce 1) various types of household dysfunction, 2) emotional and physical neglect, and lastly, 3) any type of abuse, including emotional abuse, physical abuse, and sexual abuse.

The research revealsed the result of exposure effects adults in the following ways:

Physical Health

- Individuals with four or more ACEs are at a significantly higher risk of developing chronic diseases such as heart disease, diabetes, and cancer.

- The risk of chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD) is 2.5 times higher in individuals with a history of ACEs compared to those without.

Mental Health

- Individuals with a history of ACEs are more likely to experience depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts.

- The risk of attempting suicide is 12 times higher among individuals with four or more ACEs.

Substance Abuse

- The likelihood of engaging in substance abuse, including alcoholism and drug addiction, increases with the number of ACEs.

- Individuals with four or more ACEs are seven times more likely to become alcoholic and ten times more likely to use intravenous drugs.

Social & Financial Impact

- ACEs impact not only physical and mental health but also social well-being. Adults with a higher number of ACEs are more likely to experience unemployment, financial instability, and relationship difficulties.

Life Expectancy

- The cumulative effect of ACEs is profound. Individuals with six or more ACEs have a 20 years shorter life expectancy than those with no ACEs.

Pretty shocking, huh?!

These findings have some pretty big implications. For starters, I use this important screening tool with every single client who starts counseling at Ethredge Counseling Group. It helps us dial in, from the very beginning, on some of the most significant experiences our clients may have had, and shed light on what could be triggering multiple symptoms.

There are implications for our society at large as well. Addressing the widespread abuse and neglect that so many children are surviving on their own is crucial, as well as supporting caregivers who may struggle with their own mental health challenges.

We can help bring trauma-informed care to those who need it most, as well as educate parents, caregivers, and community members, thereby contributing to the creation of a safer and more nurturing environment for children.

Building supportive communities that prioritize the well-being of children is essential. Social programs, mental health services, and community resources can play a vital role in creating a protective environment for children at risk of ACEs.

Lastly, we can begin healing our own traumas, both “big” and “small”. Not only for the benefit of our own health, but for the healing and wellbeing of our families, our communities, and the world as a whole.

I often have clients start therapy by telling me they had idyllic childhoods, wonderful parents, and no traumatic experiences. 

And yet, they experience panic attacks, ruminating thoughts, insomnia, or low self esteem.

How do these people with such lovely lives, develop such limiting, frustrating, even devastating or debilitating symptoms?

The answer? Unresolved and unprocessed experiences, aka “trauma”. 

Now, many may balk at that statement! Perhaps you too feel you’ve had a trauma-free life, and yet experience some of the symptoms listed above. You view yourself as strong and capable, not as a victim with trauma. 

Stick with me here! 

I'm not here to convince you that you are a victim, or that you have some horrific event in your childhood which you’ve suppressed. Nor am I here to ruin your view of your childhood and say you had terrible parents!

I am here to challenge you to look deeper than the surface. To begin to understand the root cause of these symptoms. To validate the significance of the small and often neglected experiences that could be the source of your current struggles. 

“Trauma is an invisible force that shapes our lives. It shapes the way we live, the way we love and the way we make sense of the world. It is the root of our deepest wounds.”

― Gabor Maté

You may have first heard of EMDR through Whitney Rose (RHOSLC) when she spoke recently of her experience with it in therapy, or soccer superstar David Beckham using EMDR to treat fear and anxiety. EMDR, which stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, is finally entering the zeitgeist as a profoundly healing therapy modality used to treat anything from insomnia to combat trauma, and everything in between.

So, What is EMDR?

Eye Movement Disensitation & Reprossessiong (EMDR) is a therapy technique used to preprocess unresolved or unprocessed negative experiences. This reprocessing is different than typical talk therapy, as it’s paired with bi-lateral stimulation through eye movement.

Does It Actually Work?

The jury is in. EMDR is one of the most effective forms of treatment for trauma. One study showed it was not only more effective than Prozac, but once treatment was complete, clients continued to be asymptomatic, unlike those who’d taken Prozac!

In the picturesque city of Charleston, South Carolina, a growing number of millennial women are recognizing the importance of mental health and seeking therapy as a valuable tool for personal growth and well-being. From the cobblestone streets of historic downtown to the vibrant communities along the coastline, the reasons for this trend are as diverse as the city itself.

There always comes a time in life where we know we need to make a change. We may feel either totally exhausted, or like we aren’t doing anything with our time, or that we have no purpose at all. But it may be very confusing, daunting, and overwhelming to find out how to actually make a lifestyle change. Using a wellness wheel may be a practical and useful tool to help you figure out where to start. A wellness wheel, pictured below, includes all of the 9 areas of wellness (links to other blogs) in a sort of pie chart. The size of each slice is indicative of how much time and energy you are putting into that area as well as how much you are getting back from it.

The first step to consider when deciding how to make a lifestyle change is to assess you lifestyle now by reflecting on your engagement with each area of wellness (review the 9 areas of wellness blogs). Ask yourself how much of your time and energy are you pouring into each area as well as how much fulfillment you are getting from each area. Take a pencil and paper draw a circle (it does not have to be perfect!) and make your lifestyle come to life. The larger slices are the areas that most of your energy is currently going towards and the smaller slices are the areas you feel get little to no attention, or are depleted. If you feel that there is a lot of time you have no idea where it's going to (maybe tiktok scrolling or netflix binging) you can just label that the “abyss” Your wheel might then look something like this:

Now, take a look at your personal wellness wheel and use this as your guidance for deciding which areas you can make some changes. The first time I created a wellness wheel I was 17 years old and absolutely full of anxiety. I realized I had about two or three areas that took up my entire circle and everything else was minimal. I had no idea that there could be important areas of my life outside of school, hanging out with my friend, and babysitting. Getting active (running) and getting creative (painting) set me free to a whole new world and got me to feel way more balanced and less anxious.

Next, it’s time to start making those lifestyle changes. First, see what areas of your life you can set boundaries in (maybe you can’t say no to your friends or your boss) to reduce the areas of life that may be in excess. Then, you can start making some goals to increase the areas that could use some growth. Identify activities within that area that seem like something you would actually enjoy, appreciate, or get something out of. Then write down some realistic and measurable goals next to your wellness wheel. One goal might work for many areas! For example, walking over to your community garden every other Saturday might grow your spiritual, social, and physical wellness! It might even help with your financial wellness (brunch on Saturday is expensive)! Remember that there are many different activities and behaviors that can fit into each area of wellness. Creative wellness doesn’t mean you have to love water color and physical wellness doesn’t mean you have to hike 10 miles. It takes time to determine from yourself which activities you actually enjoy and how much energy you need to pour in to feel a difference. Every month create a new wellness wheel and check back in with your goals and adjust them as needed.!